LIONS, and tigers and bears, OH MY!

[stusegal]

So I came home the other day, and THESE were in front of my neighbor's home:


So you could appreciate the scale, I asked Vito to be in the photo.  On a SLIM DAY, Vito is about 130 lbs - if we feed him Twinkies and pretzels he tops 140.

Poll #1-2008
Open to: all, results viewable to: all

What would you do?

IGNORE (easy for you to say since you're not living next door)
Let big Vito do what he wants (which is, incidentally, to lift his leg whenever he gets near the lions - which so far I haven't let him do)
Get bigger lions, or elephants, for our home (tell me where)
Get the kids from Rutgers to paint them red.
Run a "Name The Lions" contest (could I award the lions to the winner?)
Congratulate the neighbor on his impeccable taste and his extraordinary luck in finding such distinctive lawn ornaments.

Any other suggestions?

Comments

[danjite.livejournal.com]

If you are on good terms or the neighbors are approachable, talk.

If not, then:

Retaliatory statuary. Whether life sized replicas of fully dressed circus elephants or an eight foot Guidolon, have stoopid fun with it.

OR- but not AND- hire people NOT traceable to you to paint them as mimes. Mimes with red genitals.

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

EIGHT FOOT GUIDOLON!!!

[alanashinean.livejournal.com]

I think you simply have to congratulate your neighbor on his EXCELLENT taste. I am pretty envious. I need a pair.

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

The politically correct comment would have been - "Wow, what a handsome dog", but since you missed that and are enamored of the lions. . . .

Actually, I agree with you; the lions are awesome. While I don't really have a problem with anything the neighbors do, I must say the the awesome lions look just a bit out-of-place in front of a home - - and plopping down a pair of giant very expensive lions on some cinder blocks rather than getting a mason to build proper bases isn't too cool.

But the lions are awesome.

I hear you've returned to the land of English Version 1.1.

[alanashinean.livejournal.com]

The dog is gorgeous, so much so that I overlooked pointing that out.

And while we both agree that the lions are awesome, I agree that they are a tad ostentatious for most neighborhoods.

[metzhead.livejournal.com]

Oh My God!

there are times, not often, true, but sometimes when I think homeowner's associations aren't a bad thing.

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

I would like to agree, but . . . what would a homeowners assn say about our bikes (with Termignoni and Two Brothers exhausts), our car with Borla exhaust, our multi-thousand watt home theater system, and last but not least the seriously big bullmastiff who shares our home and wanders the neighborhood with me?

Wait just a minute!!! Maybe the lions are the neighbors' way of retaliating against me!

(but I still think they're hideous - I think I will let Vito annoint them)

[stephenhsegal.livejournal.com]

That's right, you and I didn't get to talk about the lions when I was there, did we?

More options:

- Hunt down some lifesized cardboard standups of Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow and arrange them around one of the lions

- Retaliatory statuary (nice phrase, Dan) that really shows them what artistic taste is all about. Maybe a la Chaim Potok's Asher Lev -- you know, a lifesized crucifixion with the image of yourself on the cross, with statues of Bubby and Rashmi as Mary and Mary Magdalene looking on. That would be fun.

- PETA signs protesting the cruel and inhumane practice of dipping lions in concrete.

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

While these are good suggestions, I'm thinking that either:
- I cave and compliment them on their impeccable taste, or
- I up the ante significantly.

So the question becomes . . . . . would Phat Mandee be willing to come our home, on her elephant, with her husband, on Tamil Thai Pongal Day (which is of course the "Thanksgiving Day" of Sri Lanka) to perform on our front lawn. Then we could construct a permanent memorial to the Tamil Thai Pongal Day performance of Phat Mandee which could remain on our lawn until the removal of the cruelly dipped lions.

[stephenhsegal.livejournal.com]

I warn you: if I show this to her, she may show up on your lawn ready to go.

[alanashinean.livejournal.com]

Dipping lions in conrete is no laughing matter.

Gilding them is pretty funny though.

Vito Statue

[(Anonymous)]

You should put a huge statue of Vito in your yard facing their house. ;)
-Pete

Lions

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the cement blocks are absolutely hilarious. The whole thing must be a joke, like having pink flamingos on your lawn to annoy your neighbors.

My vote is for Vito to be allowed to pee on them when nobody sees him. But, he may need a ladder.

I find it hard to believe that they didn't talk to you first. Maybe it's getting back at you for bringing your motorcycle home (or don't you?)