A Meaningful Anniversary?

[stusegal]

“20 years, where’d it go?. .20 years, I don’t know”    (Bob Seger)

On Sunday, Fathers Day, it’ll be 20 years since at the tender age of 37, out of the blue, I had a heart attack.  A life-altering event . . . . .the Doctors didn’t know if I’d live through the night  -  I spent a month in the hospital  -  then I spent 6 months recovering at home.

 . . . . . .but the world was upside down.  My “lifestyle” was gone. . . I suddenly had to deal with  unpleasant restrictions (diet, exercise, medications, doctor visits, testing) that seemed to affect every aspect of my life.

But even more impactful was. . . . my values had changed.  Suddenly things that had been very important were meaningless, and things I never took time to consider took on great importance.  I never thought about “quality of life” or what it meant, because I was just living my life, and never really  thought about life ending.  Put in the perspective of a finite amount of time, suddenly how I spent it became paramount.

Thursday nights at the Chess Club, which I had done for years, ended. . . .what did it matter who won a chess game or tournament?. . . .As a matter of fact, I have not played a single game of chess in the last 20 years, even though it was an integral part of my life up until the day of the heart attack.

The remainder of my life suddenly became important to me, and I stopped drifting through life and squandering my time.  Unfortunately, developing direction affected people around me as some of the change I had to make was very fundamental and deeply affected family.  Very tough in the short term, very positive in the long term. . . unfortunately we don’t live in the “long term”, and sometimes only feel the pain in the short term.

I really didn’t expect to live a year after the heart attack. . . I felt another heart attack was inevitable.  Or, if not, then I expected the coronary artery disease to become crippling.  While there have been effects of the disease, it has been kept under control, and I’ve now got through 20 years. . . .without having one piece of Black Forest cake, or a banana split, or a single cigarette.  But what I have had is some focus on what’s truly important. . . .relationships with loved ones, helping those in need, and spiritual peace.

It’s been a good 20 years.  I’ll never know, but somehow I suspect that absent the heart attack I would have continued blundering through life headfirst, and never developed the relationships which now shape my life.  I guess I’ll never be able to say the heart attack was beneficial to me, given the physical limitations it caused. . . . .but where would my life had gone without the realization of mortality it caused  20 years ago?

Comments

[lauriemann.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on surviving 20 years after a heart attack. That's quite a milestone!

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

Thanks. . . .a little bit of discipline, and a LOT of luck!

[(Anonymous)]

I think we and the world are better off too. Happy Father's Day! D.

[stu-segal.livejournal.com]

Mucho Gracias Amigo.

[(Anonymous)]

Here's to 20 more good years!
Pete